The Struggles of October--Reflections of a Tired Teacher

For some reason, likely survival, I forget every year that October is hard.  Very hard.  The newness wears off, the meetings begin, the extra help and college essays abound, and the grading builds up to the point of exhaustion before one even starts the task of tackling the, often metaphorical, occasionally literal pile.

This year I was determined to pause, mid-month and reflect professionally.  For the first time, I attended MassCUE, a technology conference held at Gilette Stadium, and even got to stand on the field with other educators from my district.  Surely, I thought, this will be the inspiration for my next blog!  And it was, but October got in the way.  November 1st is a big deadline for my seniors, and that meant before and after school conferencing with them on top of the normal day-to-day responsibilities of a teacher, which left me little time to write about my learning experience.  The reflections for and the impact of that learning experience was significant but became something that was no longer timely to share with a broader audience.

Instead, it became evident that what I needed to reflect on was my lack of time to reflect.  I know that as a learner, I am at my best when I have time to write about, discuss, and otherwise process my challenges and triumphs as an educator.  Still, October did not allow that.  But luckily, something I planned for my students did make me stop.



My sophomores spent much of first quarter reading free choice books and working in book club groups.  Every day at the start of class, I give a book chat  The final list of books for the first quarter is pictured.  Since completing a reading self-assessment survey during the first week of school, my students identified as mostly non-readers who spent much of their time "fake reading" for school.  After each book chat, my students read silently for ten minutes and track their reading on a chart that is passed around the room.  To end the first quarter, my plan was for them to revisit the survey, complete a short written reflection, and have pictures taken with their respective book stacks (books they read during the first quarter) so they could honestly see their own growth.  Their reflection led to my reflection, and for that I am grateful.

My class of 14 sophomores independently read just over 50 books during the first quarter!  The photo is below, and I love it!  Their reflections showed that some have begun to view themselves as readers and goal setters.  These are quotes from my students' reflections that made me smile and know that this drastic pedagogical shift in my classroom is not only effective, but it is also critical as I continue my career:

At this time, how would you describe yourself as an independent reader?

• I would describe myself as a good reader who is self motivated if the book is good
• I would describe myself as liking to read when I am told to. In the past I haven’t typically read by choice. I also like reading books when I can really get into them. If I can’t then I get a bit bored.
• A swift dedicated reader, I’ve recently been getting very into my books and enjoying them. I still find myself with difficulty picking up new books and getting into them, but if I do get into a book I can really stay involved
• Someone who never read even what was assigned, but is reading for real now, even if I am not very fast at it

What goal(s) would you like to set for yourself as a reader next quarter?

• Do what I did this quarter, maybe a bit better, probably a bit worse(I'm a self doubter, but everything works out in the end)
• To be able to find books I like easily and not to be as picky and being more open about it.
• Read more than one book in a month or at least start a second book before the end of the month.
• To find more time to read.
• To read at least 4 decent sized books over the next quarter!!! (And maybe try to read a bit faster)

Scheduling time for my students to reflect on their learning experiences gave me pause to stop and reflect on mine.  Seeing most of my students in that class posing with all the books they read in one quarter confirmed what I thought was true but more importantly made them realize how much progress they made as independent readers.  Fifty books is a lot of books!  My students who read two books confessed that they read more books this quarter than all of last year!  

So what does all this have to do with the struggle of October?  Educators are always busy.  Always.  There is a lot to do and what we do matters, a lot.  The pressure of the daily grind, lost time with friends and family, and the emotional human toll can leave us exhausted, depleted, and trapped in the moment.  Gifts we provide for our students, like time for reflection, are not gifts we consistently give ourselves and that needs to change.  

It may not be reasonable or even possible for me to blog multiple times a month, but I know that stopping and writing about this shared learning experience between my students and me gives me a sense of pride and feeds my teacher soul in a way that matters.  Do I still have narratives to grade?  Yes, but this reflection took priority.  

After all, if I am not a reflective educator how can I expect my students to be reflective learners?