Confession: my goal of a blog a quarter quickly disappeared once I got a student teacher and herniated a disk resulting in urgent surgery. So now that my student teacher has graduated and my back is on the road to recovery, this blog flashed back into my mind. Teachers will understand. It's that moment of: "Oh, that's right. I was going to do this or that cool thing" only to result in reality. Being human is hard, teaching is really hard, and time is not our friend.
As we close out this year, there are some things I (re-)learned that matter most.
1. Relationships matter more than ANYTHING.
Schools are about learning and schedules, but more than anything they function well when relationships are developed, nurtured, valued, and maintained. Relationships make students come to class happy to see you. They make teachers come to school happy to see their students and colleagues. When relationships are valued, the task of teaching (genuinely overwhelming when you think about the responsibility of it all) becomes manageable and a team effort. Working with my first student teacher confirmed that for me. Students willingly let her into their worlds, in part because I taught them that she was safe, but also because she tried to get to know them the best she could in such a short time. Students are no different than teachers. If you are kind to us and honest with us, we will usually be the same way back. Relationships allow students to be honest. "No, I did not like that book," "Yes, I need more time," and "Yes, I will miss you this summer!" I teach students to be discerning readers, analytical writers, and reflective learners, but most importantly (I try) to teach students that they are important and significant human beings worthy of respect and affection.
2. Surround students with good books and choice, and they will read.
When I first started teaching, I developed a pretty decent middle school classroom library, which proved ill-fitting in every way when I transferred to the high school. My books were too young, and my classroom was a rolling cart that moved from space to space for several years or a shared classroom with another full-time English teacher. This led to me thinking: "Students will read the whole class novels and then pick out books from the library when I bring them there." I was wrong, but in truth, I was surviving. What else could I do without a space of my own? After I got my classroom, it took time to build my classroom library for my current audience. It is not complete, but it is on its way. And guess what? My students read. A lot. Free choice reads abound, book clubs happen with an attempt at regularity (that's a goal for next year), and whole class reads are more often than not, read. It turns out when students are given choice often, they're generally willing to read the assigned material as well! It's now time for me to pack my classroom library, and I can only hope that unpacking it next year will make my students as happy and engaged next year as it did this year.
3. Ask for help...or at least learn to accept it.
This is hard for me. I don't often ask for help, but I am even worse at accepting it when it is offered without request. That is changing. In February I severely herniated a disk in my lower back.
Surgery was a gift, and even though recovery is slow, I try to remember what it was like to be trapped at home, alone, calling for help and begging for my surgery date to be moved up. I could not sit, stand, or walk--the pain was paralyzing. It forced me to depend on my student teacher to be there for "my kids" when I could not be. I was lucky to have her! When I returned, I was exhausted. Life was not fun. All I did was teach and sleep. I even stopped reading for fun because I was too tired and needed at least 12 hours of sleep a night to teach the next day. My student teacher was thrilled I was back and super protective of my recovery, which helped so much. But help came from others, too! My best friend (you know the kind, the ones who don't even need the title because they already know it) prepared for my classes with my student teacher and paced out an entire unit without me because it needed to be done and she didn't want me to have one more thing to do. And every morning (honestly...) another early bird at school meets me at my car to carry my bag. I know it's hard on her since she has so much to do on her own and I have told her she doesn't have to keep helping, that I'll be extra careful. But still, there she is! She helps without me asking, and I am learning to say thank you without the ...but. It has been a tough second semester physically and as a result, emotionally exhausting, but I am lucky to have help, even when I'm too stubborn to ask for it!
4. There's only one me, so taking care of myself is the most important thing I can do.
My third lesson leads to my fourth lesson. Historically, my career and my students have taken priority over my outside-of-school life for the most part. Friday night? The game then the two-hour commute to my house. Weeknight? Grading, prep, or staying late for an extracurricular activity of some sort. My surgery changed all that. My students and my career are still a priority, but I can't help them or do the job I want to do if I am physically unable. So now, I go home after school. I take long walks when it's not raining (harder than you'd think this spring...) I grade and prep during the school day and limit myself to what I absolutely MUST do as opposed to what I would typically have done. My students are not worse off for my priority realignment. Instead, I don't even think they've noticed. But I have. I have even taken a whole weekend to myself. I spent the long weekend with friends and family and worked at my second job for the first time since my surgery. I know what you're thinking, but working at a women's clothing boutique is a VERY different job than my teaching career. Besides, I enjoy working with my friends there, and that is also part of me taking care of myself. I know a lot of educators burn themselves out, and I totally see why. In fact, we are somehow glorified for it. Look at this:
Honestly, it's intended to be a compliment, but it's really a horrible mindset to present. Imagine if we told doctors or entrepreneurs that their job was to burn out so that others coming after them will see the way? Inspirational, right? I didn't think so either. So instead of consuming myself for others, I will shed light and make the last half of my teaching career about teaching others how to create their own light. It's a better lesson in the end anyway I suspect.
5. Celebrating and mourning can happen at the same time.
This happens every few years, and I am lucky when it does. Sometimes there is a graduating class so kind and thoughtful, so curious and creative, so passionate and humorous that when they approach senior week, I stop and think: "Will they leave kindly?" Some years, they don't. Bridges are burned, and memories are tarnished even when you don't want them to be. I still want them to be happy and successful in whatever they want to achieve, but their last days are often a lot of work in the worst sense of the word. Eventually, weeks pass and those negative memories fade, leaving me with funny moments and positive exchanges because that is what teaching is about. Not holding a grudge and knowing that students are still growing up, so they need space to do that. But other years, a whole graduating class leaves WITH class. That is this year. My section of seniors left with appreciation, kindness, enthusiasm, and love. Their entire graduating class did the same. During years like that, we celebrate their accomplishments but mourn their absence. My classroom is empty right now except for me and my books that I need to pack up before summer, but really B period is filling the space with their absence. Even my hallway looks sad and lonely without them. They earned the right to be missed until we celebrate their graduation in a couple weeks and, in a couple months, my hallway fills with sophomores again. I can only hope they, too, are creative and kind, thoughtful and passionate, but most importantly that they're happy to create a relationship with an English teacher they may never have in the hallway between classes who says "hello" and asks "how was your weekend?" before telling them to "go to class so you can learn something new. That's why we're here."
Teaching is a pretty hard job, but it's worth it!
10) The Moment of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes the World by Melinda Gates
